Thursday, October 10, 2002

Miracle Boy II

Boy, Saturday is a blur to me now... I got some stuff done around the house and on my desk. Paul came up and we went out with Adam and Rachel to Sa Bai Thong for dinner. It was a lot of fun, as I was expecting. Rachel and her little sister (as in Big Brothers, Big Sisters) picked out a glass pendant with a cat's face etched in the back, which Rachel gave to me while we were waiting for a table. How sweet!

After dinner we went to see My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Very funny. Just the shift that I needed. Paul and I then watch the abysmal Saturday Night Live, then he took off and I went to bed. Another night sleeping without the boy. Good rest.

Sunday I caught up on a bunch of correspondence, including notes from people about Butterscotch. I also spent some time talking with my friend Kathy, who is putting her 18 year old cat, KC, down on Wednesday. We've made an even better connection of late. I got caught up with my personal accounting, and cleaned my desk off to a certain extent. All immediate stuff is caught up. Feels good.

Then it was time for Butterscotch to see Cynthia. She was thrilled that he's even better today. She shared with me that she was expecting Friday that it was going to be time to put him down. However, he's very bright, eating, drinking, sociable. His face is a bit of a mess with the ulcers, but she said they'd clear up in two weeks. She gave me a supplement made from olive leaf that has antimicrobial properties to be mixed in his food. I stayed for dinner and had a nice visit with Paul & Cynthia.

I returned home and realized that all the meds and supplements are getting a bit complicated. I need to have them very well organized for next week when I'll be out of town. Dale has already agreed to do half the shifts (he needs stuff in the morning and evening), and Cynthia suggest I hire a vet tech to handle the other half. I sat down at the computer and prepared a checklist system in Excel so that each item could be checked off, and initials put down for the shift. Perhaps a bit of overkill, but with multiple people, I want everyone understanding what's going on while I'm gone. In the morning he gets three pills, plus three supplements in his food and 2 homeopathics in his water. At night he gets two pills and one supplement in food. Plus washing his eyes both shifts and putting in eye goop to protect his eyes from corneal ulcers. It looks like a lot on paper, but it goes pretty quickly.

I mixed up his food and some water for his nightly supplements. He's not eating a whole lot because we're reducing the Dex, plus cats get motivated to eat by smelling the food. He can barely breathe through his nose, so he can't smell. I got out the big plastic syringe that Cynthia gave me, and put the food in it. Off to the bathroom we went. I simply put the end in the side of his mouth and squeeze some food in. Most goes in him, some goes on the front of him and some goes on the counter. At one point a little piece of tuna got stuck in the end. I pushed and pushed, and finally it let go—you get the picture: it sprayed all over me and the bathroom. Nice tuna shirt...

New night regimen, per Cynthia. Food, water and litter all go in the bedroom, and the door is closed. She explained to me that cats are nocturnal, and they have to check the territory at night. Too tiring. He slept all night with me instead. At one point he was curled in a ball next to me, and my arm was curled around his back. Very nice.

This morning meds went pretty well, and he ate some of his magic food. Not enough, though, so I'm going to have to do the syringe again before my shower (which is the best time for it...)

While anything can still happen with him, he's definitely turned a corner, and I'm incredibly grateful. We now simply do the treatment and hope the rally continues. If his body can't sustain anything and he goes back down, there will be no more heroic measures. However, I have lots of hope at this point.

Saturday, October 05, 2002

Miracle Boy

I did get hold of Dr. Wagner by phone. I then remembered that his appointment is 10:30 in the morning, and I have a chiropractic appointment at 10:40! I could leave him at the hospital during that time, and I'd rather not—he doesn't like it there. Somehow the schedule will work tomorrow. We did meds and went to bed. I put him on a couple of towels, in case he pees in bed again. I was exhausted.

I woke up in the middle of the night - probably around 4:30. I'm not sleeping deeply enough. A big wave of sadness came up. Not now—I could stay up grieving all night. Better to rest. Since he hadn't peed before bed, I picked him up and took him to his box. He went, and we went back to bed. Such a good kitty.

The alarm went off at 8:30. I got some sleep; not quite enough. We did meds and I had breakfast. Mom called while I was getting ready, and we had a nice talk. I have a new niece! Chloe Therese Edgar, born to my brother John and wife Lori. Very neat.

I was going to take Butterscotch to Cynthia's before the hospital, but the schedule won't allow this. She said to bring him after.

We went to the hospital. I carry him around on a towel; I think this is more comfortable for him. it's more stable sitting in my lap in the car. He now settles right down and curls up.

Julia, a student, did the intake and then Dr. Wagner joined us. I don't remember much from the consult at this point. They took him back for bloodwork, and I went to the chiropractor. Great appointment; I had lots of stuff out of alignment. Body feels much freer now.

I was half-way back to the hospital when I had this thought/feeling come in of "I don't know how much longer I can do this." Like this is tearing me apart and wearing me down. And it is wearing me down—I'm not resting enough. That needs to change somehow. I realized I was hungry. There's Brennan's. I stopped and got stuff from the deli for lunch. I'll eat it at Cynthia's. While I was looking in the cooler to get a water, a big wave of sadness came up. I thought about the story I tell people during Taking It Lightly, except it was water instead of spaghetti I was picking out. I appreciated the irony of it.

I got back to the hospital. Dr. Wagner, apparently, was on a phone call. I waited for 30 or 40 minutes. Julia would go by every so often and give me a 'just a minute' motion. I was starving at this point, and was getting a bit frustrated. I didn't need a consult, I just needed to get my cat OUT OF HERE. She could call me later. I would have gone to do something about it, but knew it would do no good—they're big about proper channels there. Someone from the pharmacy came out to let me know there wasn't a tech there now to prepare the Cyclosporin (we're out). I said I'd come back this evening to get it.

Finally I saw Dr. Wagner carrying the boy with Julie following, heading to an exam room. By the time she opened the door, I was about to open it myself. She looked surprised, "How did you know I was here? Are you psychic?" "I saw you heading in here through the window." She then said (not sarcastically), "Ok, you're psychic—what do you think his potassium level is?" "Still low." (smile) "It's perfect." She seemed happy and a bit pleased with herself. Indeed, she was "right". It was the potassium. His electrolytes are stable. He's a miracle cat. And I thought back to receiving several emails from the healers, some of whom said, "You should see some changes soon."

Dr. Wagner seemed surprised and a bit annoyed that the Cyclosporin wasn't ready. I told her what the pharmacy person had said. "Well, there were techs there this morning when I put the order in." They've overgrown that clinic and are raising $11 million to build and renovate.

We debriefed for something like a half an hour. I then sprung the boy and drove to Cynthia's. Starving starving. The three of us sat in the guest room while we talked and I ate. I shared with her my feeling of being worn down, and she suggested I not be so vigilant. Get rest. Other good stuff.

I left him with her while I went to work so she could do a session with him. I needed to have a project printed so that others could come in tomorrow to stuff the attendee badges for the tradeshow. I worked, took a nap, worked a bit more. Finished. I then went to the hospital to get the prescription, and got the boy. Cynthia showed me how to put the ophthalmolic goop in his eyes. Since his immune system is suppressed, he's got a couple of ulcers near his eyes and his nose. We need to protect his eyes from corneal ulcers.

I kept Butterscotch in a room with everything he'd need and slept alone last night. Finally, good rest! He's staying quiet today, and clinically he looks better—lots of grooming, eating, etc. I spoke with Cynthia this morning. He's past this crisis, yet he's still very serious. There are three things that could kill him: the original anemia for which he's getting the steroid to limit the immune response, the partial heart failure due TO the steroid, and viral or bacterial infections that have already begun as a result of the steroid and Cyclosporin. It's a balancing act. Similarly, he needs to stay a little dehydrated. If he were normally hydrated, his heart would have to work harder due to more fluid in his blood which leaks into his body cavity. If he were to get too dehydrated, he could die of circulatory collapse. He's on a tightwire. While I feel much relieved that he's past this crisis, I still need to be prepared for him to go any day. Cynthia and I are going to reduce the steroid today. He needs the immune response, and his heart needs a break. Cynthia will deal with Dr. Wagner on this on Monday. <g>

I'm going to futz for a bit longer, spend some time with the boy and go get lunch.

Thursday, October 03, 2002

Crisis...and Reprieve...for Now

Butterscotch stayed in the hospital for several days. I visited him on Tuesday night. He looked like crap, to be blunt. He was very lethargic, and they said he perked up since I arrived(!). I left feeling grief.

Wednesday I worked for several hours at home. Did lots of grieving this day, pretty deep. Amazing how I can be feeling FULL feelings and be programming in SQL Server all at the same time. I had a coach call with Patricia at 1:30 and felt lots of feelings. She shared her own experience with her cat, Snowball. After the call, I did a search on Google, and sent emails to a group that prays for sick pets, and another group that does distance energy healings. I got several emails back from the second group. Even more support.

I went to the hospital at 6 and paid the current bill, then Dr. Wagner waved me into an exam room to go over the regimen. Wow. Two additional drugs and Potassium Gluconate powder to put in his food, to boost his K+ level. She didn't have time to write up a report for me (they had FIVE emergencies come in that day—that's a lot. Some morning only, some evening only, some both. We left, and I cried on the way home—gee, I'm good at that too. :)

I left him to rest for a few hours and went to Matt's house to have dinner with him and Rachel. Very nice evening. I got back to find him sitting next to Eric in the chair in the bay window. While Cynthia had advised me to go out to dinner, I was feeling a little guilty. Hearing that he'd been with Eric for hours assuaged that feeling.

We did the meds dance and went to bed. He slept with me all night, which he normally doesn't do. His belly felt pretty hot to the touch. He was laying next to me all night, with my arm by his legs. I woke up at about 4:30 to him kicking; I don't know if he was having a dream or what. More grieving. At about 6:45 he was sitting in his sphinx pose, facing away from me. All of a sudden he started peeing on my arm. I got him off the bed and he stopped. Nature's Miracle to the rescue. We then sat in the bay window for a couple hours. Sure looks like time to go. I got hungry at 8, so I go up and set him on the chair. He started peeing again. I grabbed a towel I had and put it behind him to catch most of it. More Nature's Miracle.

I called Cynthia and left a message, then called Dale and somehow managed to tell him that I thought today was the day. Luckily his schedule is light today. (He had already agreed to go with me when it's time to put Butterscotch down.) Eric got up and asked how things were. I told him Butterscotch would likely go today. "To the hospital?" No, be put down. He was incredulous, thinking I should wait a couple of days.

Cynthia called me back, yes we can run over to see her. While I had breakfast, he was begging to go out. However, it seemed at the same time he might be begging to really go. As in leave. I cried harder this morning than I have since I was a little boy. I'm thankful my emotions are running so clearly and open; the grieving will go better. I let him out on the harness for a short while. When I brought him back in his whole body was shaking. I warmed him on in my arms for a minute.

As I walked outside with him, Carol came out of her house; she could tell something was up. I told her it was likely I was putting him down, and she said goodbye. I thanked her for her support, and she thanked me for my sharing. She loves Butterscotch, too.

On the way to Cynthia's I cranked up the heat to finish warming him. I called the hospital to say we wouldn't be keeping the 10 am appointment to get his levels checked. The woman asked if I wanted to reschedule, and I said it was probably unnecessary, as I was likely going to put him down today. She expressed sincere regret—she probably knew him; most of them do. Dr. Wagner called me a couple minutes later, stating that much of his state can be explained by the loss of electrolytes. She didn't want me to put him down. I'd done so much for him, and she acknowledged her own emotional investment, stating that it obviously wasn't as much as mine. I told her that I was open to he suggestion, and that I'd have Cynthia call her in a bit.

Cynthia confirmed my estimation of things when I arrived, and agreed it was time to put him down. Lots of emotion. She then called Dr. Wagner, and the vets went head to head. I could tell from hearing Cynthia's side of the conversation that Dr. Wagner was really really pushing to keep going. The steroid could be causing some/much of this. During the conversation my emotions stopped, and it felt like I fell into a little pit. Cynthia said, "Yes, you went numb." The heart was clear, and then the head came in with contradictory information. I was confused. We are now moving into the decision area I'd thought about all along—where pain goes up and quality of life goes down. Cynthia said there was a compromise: give him subcutaneous fluids and continue the treatment and see if he perks up. No more hospital, except maybe to check levels (too MUCH potassium could kill him). No more heroic measures. Even if he does survive this crisis, he probably wouldn't survive a year.

We gave him 100 ml subcutaneous fluids, and he perked up. She gave me some ibuprofen to fight the strong headache I had. She would stop by later after an appointment to see him. See how he does in the next 24 hours. We went home. He rested quietly in my lap on the drive. I was very quiet, not even turning on the radio. It's important to be very present now.

We got home and his energy level was clearly higher. He ate and drank, and begged to go out. I let him out on the harness, and followed him around. He BOUNDED through the grass. Bounded! He's never done that before! He went down to the gravel lot next door and started eating little rocks. I brought him back. He went to the bushes and began eating dirt. I stopped him. Hopefully it's the Potassium he's craving, and we're giving him that.

I brought him back in, and he did his routine while I ate lunch. Then he begged to go out. I sat in the bay window, and he readily jumped on my lap. We took a nap together for about three hours. Cynthia then showed up. He was clinically much better. She gave him a session while he sat on my lap. He soaked it up. I felt my feelings. I gave him 50 ml of fluids subcutaneously (I can now do that, too...).

He then got up, full of spit and vinegar. Eat, drink, pee. Amazing. And artificial—it's the water and energy, not his own body's process. The decision will be clear: he will either improve or get worse in the next couple of days. I won't continue with subcutaneous water; he wouldn't last on it, anyway.

So, I'm feeling soft and open. Cynthia suggested I not talk to a bunch of people tonight; I am drained myself. I'll do some work tonight, and go to the office tomorrow afternoon. I still have one more week to prepare the database for the tradeshow. The timing is fascinating.

As Cynthia suggested, he's now taking a deep nap. Sitting with Eric. Oh no! I forgot to call Dr. Wagner! Hopefully she's still there. I gotta let her know I'm bringing him in tomorrow for a blood level.

Monday, September 30, 2002

Back in the Woods

We had a great morning at Devil's Lake. We swam all the way across the lake. It was actually the best thing we could have done. Since I "had to", I finally got into a good rhythm with the continuous breathing and swimming. I voted myself the most improved triathlete of the weekend. <g> I was frustrated, however, that my back wheel is a little bent and I had a broken spoke - it must be from getting it in and out of the car. Time to buy a rack! I've researched racks over the past week, and have decided to buy a Yakima. I'm in the process of procuring the different components on eBay.

Had I completed this update before today, the title would have been Give me Boundaries or Give me Death!, as it has been rather tiring and frustrating dealing with Butterscotch. He's been doing some inappropriate urinating and defecating, including on my roommate's down comforter. *sigh* After that he was banished from my roommate's part of the apartment. Did he want to go in there 1000 times more? Of course! Wednesday Eric came home and opened the door to his den, and Butterscotch flew through the door like a shot! I chased him up through the room, up the stairs and into Eric's room. He dove under the futon. I know you're not supposed to do this, and I did it anyway: I grabbed him by the tail and pulled him out. I carried him downstairs, and put him in the bathroom with his bed and catnip in the shower. Yup, he had earned himself a time out. After a half hour in there, he was much more contrite, and took a nap on the couch.

I also switched his food from Science Diet to Nutro Max, which is preserved more naturally with vitamin E, as opposed to other preservatives that aren't as good for cats. I know cats can go off their food if it is changed, so I was ready to switch him back right away. However, he seemed to take to it immediately.

This weekend was a long one: I participated in an outdoor experiential education course (ropes and challenges) at Rogers Memorial Hospital (hmmm - nothing about the course on their site...). I've done this course there for the past 9 years, as it is part of the Professional Excellence Program offered through the Center for Creative Learning. The course is great in teaching teams to be more functional, and allowing individuals to safely challenge themselves to do more than they thought they could. The epitome of this last one for me is the "power pole", which is a 40' high pole that the participant climbs (by use of large staples), stands on the top, and jumps off, either to ring a bell or grab a trapeze suspended between two other poles. (The participant wears a harness connected to ropes, so this is very safe.) In all these years I've never gotten the chance to go for the trapeze, only the bell. Well, THIS time, we did the trapeze, and I'm happy to state that I nailed it! It was great fun! My friends Rachel and Adam also participated, and they both did great and had a really good time!

I left Oconomowoc and drove directly to Kenosha, where my cousin Andy and his new bride Karen were holding the reception for their wedding. A very nice affair, and I enjoyed visiting with my family. I would have stayed in Milwaukee, except that I had a cat at home that needed medicine and TLC, so I drove home, arriving at about 11:45 pm. The alarm went off the next morning at 7:30 (oh gawd), and I drove to Milwaukee for my niece Grace's Confirmation and the gathering that followed. Another very nice event.

I got home Sunday at 4 or so and stopped at Rachel's to help her with her computer (some help - now she can't log on to it...). I went home and was looking forward to simply sleeping. Not passing Go, not collecting $200 - SLEEPING. However, Butterscotch was complaining about something, so I let him outside in his harness. Of course, then I couldn't sleep - he tends to get himself knotted up, so I need to monitor him while he's outside. I brought him in when it started to get dark, and we relaxed with some TV before bed.

Cynthia has been teaching me about his behavior being due to stress and adjusting to being an indoor cat, etc. The reason this has all been tiring is because I haven't been sleeping soundly - part of me is paying attention to where he is and listening to see if I can tell if he's about to urinate somewhere, like under my bed. *heavy sigh* Last night I went to bed and he started walking around the apartment asking for something/whining/etc. I knew I couldn't do this another night. I placed him in the bathroom with his bed, food and water (he has no compuctions about going to the bathroom in the shower, so he was set). I slept soundly 'til 6 am, when I went to the bathroom, and brought him back to bed with me. After a few minutes, he got up and went back in the bathroom! Cynthia was right - they do feel safer when confined sometimes.

Last night I finally perfected the pilling technique. Where I used to pop the pill in his mouth and shove it back with a finger, he'd outsmart me with his tongue and get it out of his mouth, requiring repeated attempts. I now simply stick the pill back with my thumb and forefinger - presto!

Cynthia came over today while I was at work to see him. She called me and stated that he was experiencing some distress - possibly a urinary tract infection or even blockage. This is dangerous. I asked her to call the hospital and tell them I was bringing him in. I got home in less than 20 minutes. Cynthia stated that where she was attributing his inappropriate urination to stress, etc., it may actually be completely medical. If he has minerals (or whatever) built up in his bladder, it can cause a great deal of pain, and feel like he needs to pee constantly.

I took him to the hospital, where he was seen pretty quickly by the student, and then Dr. Wagner. She didn't think his bladder was blocked as she couldn't feel it by palpating, but he had lost some weight. I left him with them, and she said she'd call later when she knew more. I went home, exhausted, and laid down. NOTHING was going to stop me from sleeping now!

I got up three hours later feeling much better. I returned Dr. Wagner's voicemail. She gave me LOTS of information, let's see how much I remember. They looked at his blood chemistry. His potassium is low - not quite to a dangerous level. His calcium and phosphorous are also low. His heart murmur is stronger, so it looks like he has a heart condition, although it's not known if it's from this illness, or he's had it all along. He's got some fluid in his abdomen. Since his Cyclosporin level is perfect (409), they will be reducing the steroid (Dexamethasone) he's been getting to 1/2 the current dose. The steroid could be causing/exacerbating some of these problems, so this is a good thing. He may have pancreatitis, but it's hard to tell in cats - in humans and dogs is easier to tell by ultrasound and blood levels. They will be starting him on some potassium intravenously tonight, although they have to be careful about this because his heart is working hard with too much fluid in his system already. Luckily, Cyclosporin is tolerated very well by cats, so it likely isn't causing any problems. Tomorrow they will do bloodwork again and perhaps add some supplements to his diet to increase these minerals. Cynthia shared with me today that he masks how sick he is with his willfulness.

So, the bottom line is I still have a (pretty/very) sick cat on my hands. And in two weeks I'll be gone for a week to Columbus for our annual trade show. *BIG -- oh forget about it -- there isn't a big enough sigh to cover that one. It would be stressful enough if he were as stable as I thought he was last week. If he's less stable, like right now, it's going to be even more stressful. "Very" would be accurate.

At this point I'm not feeling as sad or scared as a few weeks ago. I think time and fatigue have taken a lot of edge off... I think 'glum and ok' would be more accurate right now. I hate it when he's at the hospital at night and not here.

Saturday, September 21, 2002

Fourteen!

Wow. A week since I put an entry up. Busy week. And another week of poor sleep. One thing that has gotten better is meds time - we're getting better and better at doing the pilling. When I got the refill on the Cyclosporin, Dr. Wagner let me know they had calculated the dosage of the first batch wrong—it was supposed to be .4 mg/kg of body weight; they simply made it .4 mg. This refill is the correct dosage.

Butterscotch and I have spent some quality time this week, him sprawled on my lap while I read or work on the computer. I've even come home to find him sprawled on Eric's lap—very cute!

Cynthia came to see him on Thursday, and was quite pleased with how he was looking. She thought the cells would last through next Wednesday. I was incredulous, but he is doing well. I took him to the vet (And Dogs, Too, not the vet hospital) to get a PCV and a check for immature red blood cells. When he left the hospital it was between 11 and 13, and on Friday it was 14! The doc also stated she thought she saw signs of new cells on the smear. So, either a measurement is off somewhere, or he is, indeed, making new cells! I was so incredibly happy to hear that number.

I keep rediscovering something: if I don't make plans for Friday night, I don't have any plans on Friday night. I think sometimes I get so focused on the present I sometimes forget to plan <g>. So, I went to the store and bought a bunch of food. I made some chicken strips for Butterscotch, as he liked what I was eating the other night, and I made myself an incredible improvised chicken curry! I was surprised at how good it turned out. We then sat in the bay window while I read the Isthmus, then watched a bit of TV before bed.

Rachel will be picking me up in five minutes to go up to Devil's Lake again to do the triathlon course as a continued part of our training. Last Sunday we went to see my cousin Colleen finish the Ironman here in Madison, and it was AWESOME! She did great. It was very inspiring. Rachel informed me while we were watching the finishers that we were going to be doing this in two years. "We are?" Yup. Wow. I'm a bit disbelieving, yet I'll go for it. This means we'll have to run a marathon next year (or more). I don't have it in my self-definition at this point that "I'm a marathon runner". I'll need to be changing some self-concept, I guess.

Sunday, September 15, 2002

Winding Down

I went to bed after that last entry. Butterscotch is doing more sneezing now - poor guy has allergies.

Another poor night's sleep. I awoke at about 5 again, and went to move from a curled up position to stretched out. Something stopped my feet - it was Butterscotch sleeping on the foot of my bed. Good thing I have a queen size bed.

I fell back asleep for a while and had the most horrible dream. The only thing I recall is that Butterscotch couldn't breathe - at all. However, I was calling him Molly (a previous roommate's cat). The only thing I could think to do was squeeze his abdomen to get whatever blockage out of the way. To no avail. I woke up just whimpering. Very unpleasant.

I got up and cleaned. With building the new bedroom shelves, I had one of those instances where when improving organization it's necessary to make a big mess, except I never finished cleaning up. In the midst of doing this, I discovered my chat client isn't working on my computer, which I use for work and play. Argh. I'm going to reinstall Windows after this entry to try and fix that. If entries stop appearing, you know why. <g>

I let Butterscotch outside in his harness while I had breakfast and cleaned. He just laid in the bushes, hunter that he is. I finally brought him in for a while, but put him out in the front so that I could vacuum - he hates the vacuum, and I want to minimize his breathing dust for his allergies. I was vacuuming the front room when I heard a dog barking. Uh oh. Butterscotch had scurried under the porch. I pulled him out and brought him in. He was a bit aroused from that.

Cynthia came over and had a session with him around noon. She remarked on how white his gums where, and I noted that he hadn't been eating or drinking much today. She let me know that I've been counting his pulse wrong. What I thought was one beat was actually two, which means that his pulse hasn't been 100 bpm consistently, it's been 200. Oops. I decided, and Cynthia agreed, to call Dr. Wagner and take him in, as I'd rather take him in today than tonight or this weekend. I made lunch while she finished with him, and we had some rice and soup.

I picked up my sleeping cat and took him to the hospital. I drove past my sister Julie walking down the street with flowers and balloons for her birthday (I won't say which one...). Butterscotch just laid in my lap on the ride, while he usually is standing looking out - yup, he's winding down. He complained just a little as we neared the hospital.

Twyla (sp?), a fourth year student, did his intake. She was very considerate, but Butterscotch was less than thrilled, doing his low growl through the whole thing. Actually, shortly after we showed up, he was getting antsy in the waiting room. When's the last time he went to the bathroom? Hours ago. hmmmm. Sure enough, once we got in the exam room, he started squatting on the exam table. I asked Twyla to get a litter tray, but I put him in the sink anyway. Yup, right there in the sink. I cleaned him and the sink up, just as Twyla was bringing the litter tray. <g> I know my cat.

She went to find Dr. Wagner, and I sat on the bench. Butterscotch came up and sat in my lap, curling up into a little ball while I held and petted him. Poor guy is tired. Dr. Wagner came in and let me know his PCV was 8 or 9. She explained that they have to figure out what to give him for blood, as they don't have any packed cells that match him - they ordered them on Monday and they normally take one day, but they haven't arrived yet. They can either give him a transfusion of whole blood from a cat there at the school, or Oxyglobin, a product made from cow blood that carries oxygen like red cells. I asked if he could get two units of blood, etc., to minimize his trips to the hospital. Apparently, he would go through two units given simultaneously faster than two units given sequentially. That decides that.

Because it was rather late in the day, she stated he might be spending the night. I told her that all things being equal on their end, I'd rather come get him, at ANY time, so that he could be home at night. We'll see.

I then paid the deposit for this visit and left. Interesting experience as I walked out the front door. I thought instantly of the movie sliding doors, a movie about interesting life intersections. As I was walking out of the front door I heard the Marching Band practicing on the field that is kind of kitty corner (no pun) to the vet hospital. They were playing On Wisconsin. Way back then I'd have never considered that I'd be bringing an animal here to the Vet Hospital. My life is VERY different now than it was back then. I wouldn't go back for anything.

I came back and had some more rice and soup. While it's a bit of a respite from the worry to not have the boy here with me, I don't like it. He hates being at the hospital. Hopefully they will finish in a few hours, and I can bring him home tonight.

I'm now going to reinstall Windows to fix a few problems I'm having. Wish me luck.

Saturday, September 14, 2002

I Hate Computers

Sometimes I'm a bit more prophetic than I want. I did, indeed, reinstall windows after the last entry. Didn't go exactly right. No internet access. Tried again several different times several different ways. I gave up for the moment.

I can't remember if I called Rachel or she called me—I was in the throes of computer repair. We were both hungry, so I picked up food at Bandung (great Indonesian food if you've never tried it), and we ate it while watching The Matrix on her new TV. My favorite movie ever.

I returned home and once again started battling my computer. I decided on a fresh install, and I'd just have to reinstall all the software I use. *sigh* More and more futzing—I went to bed during the install.

***

I shouldn't'a stayed up so late last night. Dr. Wagner called me at 8:28 to let me know it all went well, and I could come get the boy. I got ready and went over. Wait, talk to the doctor, wait, get the cat, wait, get more meds refills. I went to pay and they hadn't entered him as being there for the night, so they didn't have the right charge. The woman asked me if I'd be there some time soon. Dr. Wagner and I both laughed. Yes, no later than Friday, I imagine.

I came home and finished the install of Windows. More and more futzing, and then I started installing software. I couldn't remember where all my email settings were—oh, show hidden files. And then I had to go about figuring out all my account settings. Why don't I have that recorded anywhere? *sigh* I'm back up and functional, although there will still be stuff to load. While this ended up being a big pain in the tuckus, at least it didn't end up being a huge pain in the tuckus.

Butterscotch has been napping the whole time since I got home. He's just now gotten up to use the facilities, and eat and drink. I don't have plans tonight—hmm, I haven't been making any plans recently. Oh well.